Kick Back with me

Due to an exponential increase in the quality of my life over the last two months, I have decided to discontinue this thing.  It began as a fight against boredom, a state that is now more a rare privilege than a depressing plague.

Never fear, loyal partisans--I will continue to contribute soccer goodies regularly to Kick Back Online, a phenomenal upstart movement dedicated to the arts and social activism (namely through its subsidiary contrivance Save Your Brain).  DTOM and KBO joined forces a few months ago, and I will continue to do what I do, just exclusively under the much larger umbrella that is Kick Back.

Come with me, children.

RSL fall short; Dempsey sets record

Last night, a single defensive lapse in the box by Real Salt Lake kept them from continental glory.

Chilean international Humberto Suazo, Monterrey's top striker, was able to put one home from 15 feet off a give-and-go during first half stoppage time, giving Los Rayados the 1-0 victory (3-2 aggregate) in the CONCACAF Champions League final.  Mexican clubs continue their run of titles, preventing Real from becoming the first American team to reach the Club World Cup.

RSL's Will Johnson helped his club dominate
possession throughout the night, but it wasn't
enough.

Salt Lake dominated possession from the get-go, rarely relenting on the offensive pressure met calmly from the Mexicans.  Captain Kyle Beckerman watched from the GM suite (yellow card accumulation), but I don't think it would have made a huge difference.  He was no more likely to get one of RSL's many crosses to end up in the back of the net.  They simply couldn't capitalize (even when all they needed was a 1-1 draw for the title).  Both teams made few mistakes on defense--but Monterrey took advantage, and have a Champions League trophy to show for it.

I, like many neutral or non-RSL fans, rooted for the Royals like they were my own children.  What a North American title and a trip to the Club World Cup would have done for us... I guess there's no point in even bothering with the "what-ifs."  But many agree that simply reaching this point was HUGE for American soccer, and that it will hopefully push other clubs to take the tournament just as seriously.  LA Galaxy, Colorado, Dallas, and Seattle will be in the next Champions League (beginning later this summer), and hopefully they'll follow suit.

Clint Dempsey

Well on his way to being the most successful American soccer player in European history, our beloved superstar winger has made headlines again.

Clint Dempsey being fucking awesome.

Not only did his brace against Bolton Wanderers lead Fulham (now safe from relegation) to a 3-0 victory, but it catapulted him over compatriot Brian McBride for the team record for career goals in the EPL, with 33.  Last month, he became the first American in the EPL to score 10 goals in a season, a record also held previously by McBride (9, twice).

And talking about Bolton just brings me back to the Stuart Holden injury, which reminds me to get off my ass and get back to that Jonny Evans hate mail.  Christ, this post has been an emotional rollercoaster. 

Here are Clint's two goals:

Most Significant Game in American Club Soccer History

...now that I have your attention.

I've talked about Real Salt Lake's journey through the CONCACAF Champions League a few times.  A small-market team with a comparatively tiny payroll (less than half of David Beckham's salary) has spent the last year shipping themselves all over North America for this very night.  After drawing 2-2 at Monterrey last week, RSL hosts the Mexican powerhouse tonight for a chance at the FIFA Club World Cup at Japan in December.  Expecting over 20,000 in attendance, RSL has single-handedly taken a tournament from Eurosnob obscurity to the point where players, coaches, and fans from all over the league have sent their well wishes to the organization for tonight's match.  After all, Salt Lake is looking to be the first team to ever represent the United States at the Club World Cup.

The event (10 pm EDT, Fox Soccer Channel, CONCACAF TV) has been almost unavoidable.  Even "non-soccer" media has dubbed it as more important than any MLS match in history.  Those closer to the situation have been able to communicate with the common fan and equate it with the obviously larger UEFA Champions League, and therefore boost its local and national relevance.

While I can't sit here and say that a Salt Lake win would forever change the landscape of American soccer as we know it (it would take a US World Cup win to do that so swiftly), the theme of "every little step helps" rings as true as ever.  Regardless of your allegiance, seeing Kyle Beckerman hosting the trophy in street clothes would be one of the most monumental moments in American soccer history.  And many people won't realize that until after it happens (God willing).  But that's okay with me.

World Cup Qualifying


CONCACAF's new qualification format, as mentioned last month, has officially been submitted to FIFA for approval (more than likely a mere formality; it should be approved rather quickly).  The only difference from last month's report is that, like Asia, CONCACAF will be staging the first round of qualification before the official draw in July.  Announced yesterday, the round will begin June 3, with two-legged match-ups seeded according to the March 9 rankings, as opposed to a random draw (which would have happened had this round occurred after the July draw in Brazil).  The return legs will be played June 7.

The match-ups are as follows.
#26 Belize v. #35 Montserrat
#27 Dominican Republic v. # 34 Anguilla
#28 British Virgin Islands v. #33 U.S. Virgin Islands
#29 Saint Lucia v. #32 Aruba
#30 Turks and Caicos Islands v. #31 Bahamas

The winners will advance to the second round, a group stage with teams ranked 7-25.  The US, ranked #1 in CONCACAF, have a bye to the third round.

Portland, OR > Anywhere Else in The US

Last night, the expansion Portland Timbers hosted the Chicago Fire, in what was their home opener at newly-renovated JELD-WEN Field.  As with any recent MLS expansion club with roots in successful lower-division soccer, the preseason and pre-game hype was high, and the soccer media turned their full attention toward the festivities.

I've been reading up on Timbers lore for a few years, since even the slightest rumors of MLS expansion surfaced.  There isn't a single soccer club in US history with as much tradition.

They have one of the largest supporters groups, the Timbers Army, in what is one of the smallest markets in MLS.  Eight thousand supporters highlighted an 18,000-body sellout last night. Their songs are more numerous and unique than their counterparts (including the national anthem before the match).  Their tifo is enviable at worst.  They have no other sports teams to distract them (other than the Trail Blazers, but let's be honest with ourselves).  And their mascot is a real-live lumberjack (Timber Joey) who goes batshit and cuts a two-inch slab of pine with a chainsaw every time the Timbers score.  The goalscorers hoist the slab in the air after the game, and get to keep it.

They sing Elvis' "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" to reference the King's performance at the site where the stadium now stands.  They sing "You Are My Sunshine" every game, at the 80th minute, to honor the daughter of the old mascot (Timber Jim). (must read, it's a tearjerker)

They are the Boston Red Sox, the Green Bay Packers, the Detroit Red Wings of American soccer--the team, stadium, and city is full of history, and the fans live for the franchise.

Seattle has earned most of the supporter-related headlines the last few years.  As they should--their average attendance is more than double the league average, bringing in well over 30,000 fans every game.  Compare this to the 5,000 they worked hard to get in their lower-division days.

Portland, however, has been raking in 5-figure attendances since their old NASL days in the 70s, let alone the USL seasons of recent years, before soccer was even close to the attraction it is now.

Seattle (as well as Toronto, Philadelphia, Vancouver, Columbus, etc.) loves its soccer.  But Portland lives for the Timbers.  They are a dorky bunch that rides bikes everywhere and, I hear, knows beer pretty well.  But soccer is not a new phenomenon in the Rose City.  It is a generational gift--a way of life.  Portland is soccer.  If you watched last night's game, with all the rain pouring on the old, tradition-laden field, you'd think they were in East London.  It's like time turned itself inside out and dropped decades of  a soccer institution in 2011's lap.

Be jealous, Seattle.  You may have twice the numbers at the stadium, but you don't have half the heart.  Not from here, at least.  Portland makes me want to be a fan.  They make me want to breathe everything they have to offer, on and off the field.  And you don't have any lumberjacks.

(FOR MORE AWESOME PHOTOS, CLICK HERE)

USA 0-1 Paraguay; Ochocinco a make-believe soccer player

Tough loss for the boys in red (although it's kind of a smelly red).  Oscar Cardozo's 18th-minute tap off a corner kick inside the box was all Los Guaranies needed for the road victory in rain-soaked Nashville.  It was an easy goal, too, with two US defenders on the wet ground after losing their footing.

Juan Agudelo, mirroring how much
of us felt last night.

Wasn't the most exciting game I've ever seen.  Although the Yanks dominated possession for the final 70 minutes of the match, they had trouble stringing together enough passes to get to within 30 yards of goal.  The game was clearly more of an experiment for Coach Bradley, who used a bunch of subs from start to finish.  The lack of experience (on the international stage, and with each other) showed for much of the match.

Goalies Marcus Hahnemann and David Yelldell (US debut) got 45 minutes each.  They weren't really tested often, but held it together nicely.

Although they struggled a bit in the first half again, the defense wasn't nearly as disastrous as the Argentina match Saturday.  Timothy Chandler once again showed athleticism and pace, with constant runs up the wings and solid crosses.  Jonathan Bornstein, who played at left back, played similarly but didn't look as comfortable on defense.  Jay DeMerit strained a groin right before the half, and was replaced by Carlos Bocanegra.  Both of them had decent games and showed presence on set pieces.  Tim Ream, for as big of a deal as people are making him out to be, looked like he never played soccer before.  He looked extremely uncomfortable, with bad first touches and ugly passes (both being sub-themes of the day for the US).

Landon Donovan

Michael Bradley, Clint Dempsey, Landon Donovan (captain for the night, even after Bocanegra came in), and Juan Agudelo all had nice efforts, although the lack of decent ball control (I'll only blame it partially on the rain) across the board prevented serious offensive threats.  Agudelo did, however, show a few flashes of this dribbling brilliance of which people speak.  Jozy Altidore was MIA for much of the game, although that was in part due to the pressure put on him all game long when he got even close to the box.  Both him and Agudelo were double-teamed much of the match.  Maurice Edu had trouble moving the ball in what at times seemed like a clogged center of the field (what else is new).  He was replaced at halftime by Jermaine Jones, who for the second time in four days, was absolutely fucking putrid.  Guy was a walking turnover.

Sasha Kljestan, Jonathan Spector, and Eric Lichaj (who had some great throw-ins toward net that could translate into goals on better days) also saw time.  Mixx Diskerud was the only unused sub, which if you ask me is a fucking travesty, considering his play against South Africa in November and Jermaine Jones' lackluster performance on Saturday.

Along the vein of experiments, I hope to see a 30-some-man camp before the Gold Cup, and get some more young guys in against Spain before the tournament.  As much as poor passing and ball care hurt us throughout the night, we can safely attribute much of this loss on how many subs were in by the end of the night.  Jose Agudelo, with his lack of experience, counts as a sub for purposes of my point.  I find it frustrating that we couldn't get a goal, but with 2 months to go before the Gold Cup, I think it's imperative to see more of these guys moving forward.  They need to play together as often as possible.  Also, I wish we could squeeze in another friendly between now and June, but it seems that the lack of international dates (and time in general) will prevent the federation from doing so.

Ochocinco


"Honorary member."  That's what Sporting Kansas City is calling Chad Ochocinco, who proved his lack of worth after six days of training and a reserve match against the fourth-division Kansas City Brass.  They're letting him stick around to train with the reserves and stay in shape until the NFL and its players kiss and make up.

By MLS definition, he's still a trialist.  Meaning, he doesn't get paid, and can play in up to two MLS Reserve Division matches this season.  SKC's reserve team also plays the Brass a bunch of times throughout the year.

What has Sporting learned about #85?  He's an athlete, clearly--but lacks the top-flight soccer skills and fitness necessary to even come close to making the team.

I still think this is a joke--KC are throwing themselves under a skeptical media bus by letting a guy with a household name wear their colors, when he has no merit otherwise.  I went to high school with kids that could probably out-play him, yet would never be given the time of day by the organization.  They said that this wasn't a PR stunt, but I hate to tell you, it has become just that.  You all look like morons.

USA 1-1 Argentina

Phenomenal result for the Yanks, given the complete domination by the Argentines in the first half.

Esteban Cambiasso's goal right before halftime summed up a miserable American midfield experience, as well as athletic superiority for the Albiceleste attack.
The second half, however, showed us what the US can do when on the ropes: play physical but patient soccer.  Juan Agudelo (again) was able to tap one home in the 59th minute off a free kick rebound, solidifying the encouraging draw.
The result was not the only encouraging aspect of last night's match.  Both halftime substitutions (Agudelo and right back Timothy Chandler) made Bob Bradley look like a genius.  Agudelo, while his goal seemed like it was of the right-place-at-the-right-time variety, was able to show some athleticism and good instincts when left with a well-deserved rebound off an outstanding free kick by Landon Donovan and a great header by Captain Bocanegra.  It was his second goal in three games with the national team.  Now, let us watch the media drool over the 18-year-old for a few weeks and Freddy Adu-ize the shit out of him.

Juan Agudelo

Chandler made it very clear that he wanted to be part of the offense, frequently running up the right sideline like it belonged to him.  His 45 minutes of play on both sides of the ball was enough to earn him praises.
I'm slightly miffed by the choice to put Jozy Altidore as the lone striker in the first half, an experiment that obviously did not work particularly well.  Donovan and Clint Dempsey had trouble finding options on the run, and we all know Jozy is not at that caliber (yet).
And while I'm second-guessing the lineup selection, is it bold or unrealistic to say that it's about time Michael Bradley and Mo Edu (and Jermaine Jones) learn how to play in the midfield together?  I understand the idea that these identical players who prefer to roam in the dead center of the pitch is causing a logjam at the position, so I think it's time for them to figure it out.  It's blowing way too many offensive opportunities.
My man of the match is obviously Tim Howard.  For the gazillionth time, he bailed out his fellow countrymen on numerous occasions with terrific saves, and is the most deserving of the honor.  The score could easily have been 3-1 or 4-1.  Another great showing by #1.
Had a great time at the match.  Boozed it all the way to the stadium, met some really cool people tailgating, and I think I hugged a stranger after the Agudelo goal.  As ugly as it might be from the outside, a sold out New Meadowlands Stadium is an incomparable experience.




***Just announced: USA-Spain at Gillette Stadium, June 4.  I'm a tad surprised that such a high-profile friendly would be scheduled three days before our Gold Cup opener, but I'm assuming this means that the starting lineup won't be playing the whole match.  Great warm-up match for the Yanks, though, and a phenomenal one for New England.

Dealing with the Bad Eggs

While the NFL threatens to scratch and claw at the integrity of gridiron football with mindless rule changes to prevent horrific injuries because they're too scared to make the safest available equipment compulsory (wait, isn't there a lockout?), what is being done in soccer worldwide to prevent dangerous plays?

A straight red card and suspension?  Sure, that's the typical punishment for leaving your feet with the spikes up and maliciously attacking another human being.  But does that deter miserable hacks like Manchester United's Johnny Evans from doing that?  No.  Just like a $50,000 fine won't prevent James Harrison from going helmet-to-helmet with someone and getting all dramatic about it the next day.

Until Sepp Blatter or Roger Goodell puts their players in those inflatable sumo suits, injuries will happen as long as idiots like Trevor Gillies continue to do what they do.  But there's no reason to punish an entire league when the problem on our hands should be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, and the powers that be need to figure out a more efficient way of doing so.  I understand that 2010 was the year of the headbutt for the NFL, but that doesn't mean the league (especially when it's barely operational) needs to eliminate all excitement from kickoffs (I can't imagine what it's like to be Devin Hester right now).  That'd be like removing the spikes from soccer cleats, or preventing them from EVER leaving their feet.  Luckily for soccer, the rules are simpler than those of football, so such drastic changes will never happen.

A better comparison might be that of taking those fun wooden blocks from kindergarteners so they don't hit each other with them.  Just because 2% of the class uses them as weapons, that doesn't mean you should take the blocks away from Josh Cribbs, Nicklas Lidstrom or Maicon.

Suspend these neanderthals.  Fine them.  Kick them out.  Eat their children.  But changing the complexion of the game is not prudent.  These athletes have minds of their own.  It is insulting and unfair to the rest of the respective sports to inflict this preemptive nonsense.  The game of football (or soccer, or hockey) isn't broke, so don't fix it.

Chad Ochocinco to try out for Kansas City (the soccer team). Seriously.

I'm not kidding.  Chad "I'm pissed because Charlie Sheen is actually loved by the public, what am I doing wrong?" Ochocinco-Johnson has been invited by Sporting Kansas City (the name still sucks) to a four-day tryout.

I'd be less annoyed with this if we didn't already have David Beckham pretending to be solid contributor to the league.  But now we have two douchebags that are good for nothing but being relentlessly cursed at by every paying soccer fan in America.  I almost hope he makes the team, so Jay DeMerit can take him out at the ankles (and that, ladies and gents, is the only time you'll see me support a Canadian team) and end all his careers at once (including reality TV, being liked by nobody, etc).

Dumb (left), with Dumber, at what is most likely a media circle jerk.

US/Mexico rivalry lives on; MLS season kicks off

After CONCACAF jumped the gun and assumed their mediocrity was enough to earn them an additional spot in the World Cup, Chuck Blazer and company had to return to the drawing board in the past week and redesign the World Cup qualifying system AGAIN.

The initial alteration involved breaking up the final round into two groups, all but guaranteeing a separation of the US and Mexico--the two North American superpowers and arguably the biggest rivalry this side of the Atlantic.  This system was created under the assumption that the top two teams in each group would advance to the big stage.

When it was announced that CONCACAF would be limited to their previous 3.5 spots (the "half" team goes through a playoff series with a team from another continent for the actual World Cup qualification), the confederation acknowledged that another change was imminent.  The new format would require the second place teams in both groups into a playoff, with the loser playing the intercontinental matches.  Lame.

CONCACAF claims that there weren't enough FIFA international dates (reserved dates on the calendar when leagues shut down for international play) for these extra matches.  If that's actually the reason, then that's fine, I don't care.  I'd also be willing to bet that they heard voices in their sleep telling them that breaking up the US/Mexico match-ups was a laughable mistake, and that returning to the beloved "hexagonal" final round (one group, six teams) was the only path to saving the slightest bit of face.  This virtually assures the Yanks and El Tri playing each other twice in the final round of qualifying.

Pending an official announcement and FIFA approval, both of which are mere formalities, here's what the system should look like:

35 teams in CONCACAF
1st Round: Teams 26-35 play home-and-home
2nd Round: 5 1st rd. winners join Teams 7-25 in 6 groups of 4.
3rd Round: 6 2nd rd. group winners join Teams 1-6 in 3 groups of 4.
4th Round: Top 2 teams in each 3rd rd. group play in 1 group

Note that this will put the USA automatically through to the third round, and reduces the number of qualifying matches from 18 (the initial change) to 16.  They played 18 matches during the 2010 campaign, under a different format.

2011 MLS Season


Last night's game in Seattle was a good one, with the LA Galaxy defeating Seattle Sounders FC, 1-0.  Juninho found the back of the net in the 2nd half with a beautiful liner inside the near post from 20 yards.  The rest of the league's opening slate will be played this weekend.

Also, Real Salt Lake continued their inspired Champions League run last night, defeating CD Saprissa of Costa Rica at home, 2-0 (attendance 17,000!).  They'll play the 2nd leg of the semifinals in two weeks in Costa Rica, where "The Monster's Cave" provides Saprissa with arguably the best home-field advantage in Central America.

GOLD CUP: Group C Preview, Predictions

As promised, here's a more serious look at the US national team's (down a peg to #19 in this month's world rankings) group stage opponents in the CONCACAF Gold Cup in June.

Canada - June 7 (Ford Field, Detroit)

Of all three US opponents, the Canadians definitely have the biggest chip on their shoulders, which may prove to make them the toughest to beat.  Since their 2000 Gold Cup title, the last 10+ years have been plagued with mediocrity for manager Stephen Hart and company.  Their lack of success has been highlighted of late by some miserable World Cup qualifying campaigns.

Les Rouges, ranked 8th in CONCACAF and 84th in the world, are led by Toronto FC leading scorer and leading bitcher-and-moaner Dwayne DeRosario.  "DeRo" has 15 international goals and 55 caps to his credit, but has had quite the offseason--making headlines for complaining about pay and leaving for Scotland to train without permission.  He will likely be joined in the starting midfield by Atiba Hutchinson and Real Salt Lake's Will Johnson.  However, the midfield is about all the Canadians have going for them, with no proven goal-scorers at the striker position.  They are led on defense by captain Paul Stalteri and goalie Lars Hirschfeld, but severely lack the depth (at all positions) to get anywhere near a Gold Cup title this year.

(You could possibly argue that having a few clubs in MLS will help the development of the national team.  But without a solid grassroots developmental system that builds strong, technical players from the start, Canada will continue to flounder in the tiers of CONCACAF nothingness.  And the way things are run at the Canada Soccer Association, I don't see that happening anytime soon.)

Panama - June 11 (Raymond James Stadium, Tampa)

Ranked 7th in CONCACAF and 68th in the world, Panama is most definitely one of the most overrated squads in the region.  I watched them play a few games in the recent Copa CentroAmericana, and even with home field advantage, they failed to impress me.

La Marea Roja are led by Blas Perez, Roberto Brown, and 2005 Gold Cup MVP Luis Tejada up top, and captain Felipe Baloy on defense.  The team's biggest asset in this tournament certainly will be their speed, which could cause the Yanks some trouble (a la Costa Rica in the final round of World Cup qualifying).  Although Perez, Brown, and Tejada combine for 142 caps and 54 goals on the international stage, they lacked solid finishing in the late stages of the CCA, when it counted most.  Also, does anyone remember the 2005 Gold Cup final?  I wish I could find a video of Tejada's PK miss that helped the US take the title.

If the Yanks can stay organized on defense and don't let any quick counterattacks slip by them, this could be a walkover.


Guadaloupe - June 14 (LIVESTRONG Sporting Park, Kansas City)

This one is the hardest to call, seeing as I've never once seen them play.  They aren't even affiliated with FIFA and therefore don't participate in WC qualifying or anything (as a French overseas department, Guadeloupe is kind of a Hawaii equivalent).

Les Gwada Boys are captained by Stephane Auvray, who plays professionally for Sporting KC at this very same stadium (I DARE you to tell me CONCACAF didn't do that on purpose).  During the 2010 MLS season, his first for the Wiz, he appeared in 21 games and did not score.

The Elo Ratings, an independent alternative ranking system that includes non-FIFA nations, have Guadeloupe at 86th in the world (out of 232; the system has Canada at 59th and Panama at 63rd--I don't care, take it all at face value, I guess).  They had an unbelievably impressive run, however, at the 2010 Caribbean Cup, where five wins, a loss and a draw over two group stages took them to the final, where they lost to Caribbean powerhouse Jamaica in penalties.  So, this no-name country of no-name players could actually give their opponents some headaches.  They did reach the Gold Cup semis in 2007.  But who the hell really knows?  I would love someone to enlighten me on this one.

Predictions (maybe I'll have the balls to do full tournament predictions when we get closer to this summer's festivities)

USA def. Canada, 3-0
USA def. Panama, 2-1
USA def. Guadeloupe, because people will die if they don't.

GOLD CUP: USA gets Group C, match-up with Canada

Without the slightest ounce of transparency, or the most minuscule hint of caring that people are onto them, the CONCACAF Gold Cup match-ups were announced.

The Stars and Stripes last won the Gold Cup in 2007.

Mexico gets to play in Dallas, Canada gets to play in Detroit, and the two Floridian venues will see a total of six different Central American and Caribbean teams.  Go figure.  Luckily, the tournament still seems to be arranged with a USA-Mexico final in mind.  That's corruption I can deal with.

The Yanks, who will feature their full-strength senior squad, "drew" Canada in Detroit, Panama in Tampa, and Guadeloupe in Kansas City, in Group C.  The quarterfinals will likely be in DC, with the semis and final in Houston and Pasadena, respectively.

In 2009, the last edition of the Gold Cup, a young American squad (Bradley rested the senior team after the Confederations Cup run) reached the final where they were embarrassed by Mexico 5-0 at Giants Stadium.

I know everyone at BigSoccer, namely Bill Archer, is going to have a field day with the Canada match-up.  Although I must admit, I want to throw my laptop across the room every time I see some dumb-fuck Canadian on a message board talk about soccer like they have something to brag about up there.  Get your own league.

I'll be back tomorrow with a look at the three group stage opponents, the US' chances at the tournament, as well as the new FIFA world rankings.

Group A: Mexico, El Salvador, Costa Rica, Cuba
Group B: Honduras, Guatemala, Grenada, Jamaica
Group C: United States, Canada, Panama, Guadeloupe


***For the tournament schedule, click here.***

Champions League match draws significant crowd

No, not that Champions League.

If you're one of those "I refuse to watch the MLS and I play FIFA online with Real Madrid because Cristiano Ronaldo is the face of masculinity"-type people, just click the back button on your browser.  Not only will you probably scoff at the following, but I don't even want you here.  This is for Americans who care.  So keep it moving, please.

RSL celebrates after Andy Williams' (far left)
free kick made it 4-1.

Last night, soccer in America took a pretty significant step in the right direction.  In early March, in 30-some-degree weather, on a Tuesday, Real Salt Lake convinced 15,405 people to come see a game nearly a month before their regular season home opener.  In the second leg of the CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinals, RSL defeated the Columbus Crew in dominating fashion, 4-1.  After a scoreless draw in the first leg, Salt Lake now advances to the semis, becoming the first-ever MLS club to do so.

Like the US Open Cup, the Champions League is a tournament, separate from Major League Soccer proper, that teams have taken more seriously in recent years, but have more or less failed to captivate mainstream fans.  The media is catching on, and the diehard supporters can tell you everything about these tournaments, but drawing the average fan to the stadium for these matches has been a struggle.

Columbus Crew has been one of the faces of MLS since its inception.  The first to compete in their own soccer-specific stadium, Columbus has a rabid and loyal fan base that has been an example for the growth of domestic club support.  With that said, it's rather surprising that last week's first leg was played in front of less than 5,000 fans, mostly Nordecke supporters and season-ticket holders.

RSL stressed that their ticket sales department phone-blasted as many people as possible, taking time to explain to even the most casual of fans that this tournament was important, the franchise was making it a priority, and that it's worth the time spent in the cold to come support Real.  Even GM Garth Lagerwey visited a Salt Lake radio station to sell the match.  The team took care to compare it with the UEFA Champions League to help people understand.  The end result?  Filling up more than 3/4 of the stadium and making this tournament relevant.

One would hope word of mouth could trigger a sellout for the semis, to be played against either Saprissa (Costa Rica) or Olimpia (Honduras).  And I'm not so naive to think this tournament will sellout across the country this year.  I don't think it will.  Just like anything American soccer has ever dealt with, publicity and time are the keys to success.  Both are among the main reasons behind the recent World Cup fever (along with the success on the field, obviously).

Stepping stones, people!  Stepping stones!  I said at the very beginning of this blog that it's an exciting time to be an American soccer fan right now.  That statement is no less true than it was five months ago. It's easy to get discouraged, with all the talk of corruption at FIFA an the like.  Thirty years ago, soccer in the States didn't even have a chance to experience these stepping stones.  I know we're not the best.  But I find it so difficult--when you have club teams selling out stadiums, and stars like Landon Donovan scoring game-winners on an international stage--not to want to jump right into the middle of it all, and soak up the prospect of what is currently a niche sport becoming something much more substantial.  And until that happens, I still love the sport, and love to be able identify with it on a national basis.

Ask me why it's been a month

Sorry, I know millions of people have been waiting for me to post for weeks, but I've just been so busy... But really, the ridiculous and discouraging world of soccer has left me with little to write about. An entire month of hearing about David Beckham and Harry Redknapp's steamy love affair isn't exactly newsworthy. Like seriously, does anyone even give a shit about Beckham anymore? Congratulations, dickbag, you play for the Galaxy for two months a year just to live in LA, and half of your supporters have completely turned on you.

So, here's a breakdown of the good and the bad of late:

The good:

Real Salt Lake and Columbus Crew tied at 0-0 Tuesday.

The CONCACAF Champions League is underway again, and the MLS regular season begins in less than a month. When the national team hasn't played in three months, and all that's on TV is the NFL collective bargaining agreement and a rigged slam-dunk contest, it's easy to get slightly antsy.

Also, the MLS playoff format has been released, and it seems a bit more fair this time around.  It guarantees the Supporters Shield winner a match-up with the lowest seed in the first round, and demands the lower seeds to earn their keep a bit more.  With a split league and a balanced schedule, people are always going to have their issues, but this shows that the league actually listened to the eruption that followed Colorado's bullshit title run.

The bad:

The CONCACAF Gold Cup "draw" has been postponed; we're looking at early next month, I guess.  Now, take a second to think about this.

A draw is exactly what it is: a selection process in which the tournament's match-ups are selected randomly.  I could cut out pieces of paper while sitting on the toilet and conduct a solidly fair draw.

Yet, the confederation needs another month.  They don't release any pots (the process that prevents teams of similar talent from being loaded up too early in the tournament), or anything.  They sit there and plan where each team will go (by group and venue), for one reason: money.  

For instance, which venue would put more asses in the seats for a Jamaica match: Miami or Kansas City?  The Miami/Fort Lauderdale area has the second-highest West Indian population in the country, so the answer is easy.  CONCACAF recognizes that, and schedules as  such.  This geographic formula is essentially the basis for the tournament.

Now, I understand that this tournament isn't known for its sellouts, and that the confederation has done this for the Gold Cup for years, and that money is obviously important.  For me, simply telling the public, "This is how it goes" would at least change the fans' conversation from "you corrupt liars" to "you unconventional losers".  Which would Jack Warner prefer?  Bet my $67 tickets to the Argentina match no one's ever asked him that one before.

Speaking idiocracies, the US Soccer Federation hasn't exactly been the guiding light of the sport lately.

I refuse to get too far into the debate about the sustainability of lower-division soccer in the US, because I view it as a non-issue. I say let the teams and leagues work it out in due time, I see no rush to establish a "legitimate pyramid".

He can't figure it out, either.

However, eliminating the entire second tier (a step below MLS) from the US Open Cup (the American equivalent to the FA Cup) for scheduling reasons (the tournament proper doesn't start for months), even in the wake of the sanctioning problems, does not help legitimize a tournament that, after a century of irrelevance, drew 30,000 strong and a television deal to the final.  This doesn't hurt just the lower-division teams, but Major League soccer and the federation as well.  Simply shooting ourselves in the foot, here, Mr. Gulati.

And finally...

On a lighter note in the wake of all this complaining, congratulations to the USA under-17 national team for qualifying for the U-17 World Cup.  Their 3-2 extra-time thriller over El  Salvador Tuesday guaranteed them a spot in their 14th consecutive World Cup.  Always a good look for the future.

UPDATE: USA-Egypt match cancelled

Forget about it, they just cancelled it all together.  Probably for the best; no one's willing to take any risks, and no one should blame them.

The match, originally scheduled for February 9th at Cairo International Stadium, has been up in the air since last week, when what may very well turn into a political revolution began all over Egypt.  Over 1,000 people have been arrested, and the death toll is believed to be in the hundreds.

“We were excited about the opportunity to play against Egypt, but due to the current situation all parties agreed it was best to cancel the match,” said U.S. Soccer President Sunil Gulati. “We appreciate the efforts of the Egyptian Football Association and the U.S. State Department as we worked through this situation.” 

Again, it's probably for the best.  The next matches are March 26th and 29th, against Argentina and Paraguay, in East Rutherford and Nashville, respectively.  I'll be rocking out at the Meadowlands, of course.

Egypt match in jeopardy as US begins evacuations

For once, we're not talking about FIFA politics, oil money, or Sepp Blatter's disgraceful re-election "campaigning".  We really are talking about people's lives at this point.

On Friday, the US Soccer Federation said they were monitoring the ongoing episode in Cairo, host to the February 9 friendly between the Yanks and the Pharaohs, and what is now seven straight days of protests that have turned into bloodshed.  About an hour ago, the US State Department announced that they were beginning to evacuate Americans from the region.

Rosters for the match are expected to be announced next week, with players arriving in Cairo on the 6th.  The Stars and Stripes would most likely field their full senior squad, sans Landon Donovan.

While it may be a reminder of the situation in 2009 in Honduras before the World Cup Qualifier, it may be a bigger deal this time.  It doesn't seem terribly safe to send our boys to such an unstable city at this time.  While the soccer federations are exploring other options (postponment, another venue, etc.), it may come down simply canceling the match altogether if an agreement can't be reached.  And while I'm the last person who wants to see that happen, the priorities are obvious.  Stay tuned.

USA 1-1 Chile

Can't say I have any idea what happened here.

I'll be honest.  I didn't see a second of the game last night.

I went out last night to downtown Hartford for my birthday with a bottle of Jim Beam and 20 of my closest friends, with every intention to stumble into a soccer-friendly pub by 10pm.

Already wasted, I got lost after I got separated from the people I was following by a red light.  We finally were able to convene at Asylum Cafe, which was more or less an excuse to get warm.  That place is the lamest establishment in southern New England.  Not an ounce of personality in anyone there, we felt rather uncomfortable being there.

We then moved onto Vaughan's Public House.  I now know why the American Outlaws no longer affiliate with them.  I asked the bartender to put the game on, and he looked at me like I had a surface tumor.  It took him 15 minutes to even try to change the channel, only to find they didn't have Telefutura.  Lame.

Irritated and absolutely shitfaced, I crawled into City Steam Brewery Cafe, which seemed to be a sweet place for beer and live music.  I asked them if they could turn one of the TVs to the game (probably well into the second half by then), and the host plainly said no.  I'm not sure why I didn't clock him given my current state, but I turned to my friends, all of whom were looking at me like "make a decision, dickbag".  I don't blame them; I could barely speak, and the night was poorly planned to begin with.

So we stayed, drank, and were entertained by a typical cover band.  Thanks to my buds that came out, and for the song dedication.  I love you all.

I blacked out on the ride home, was carried into my house where I subsequently vomited and passed out in my living room.  A special thanks is in order to my girlfriend, Valerie Anne, who is half my size and was tasked with holding my body up so I wouldn't fall face-first in the toilet.  Thank you dear, I owe you one.

I watched the highlights this morning, still drunk.  A legit recap of the game would be senseless.

I'm staying home for the Egypt game next month, and heading to Jersey for the Argentina game.  Hartford, you kinda let me down last night.  Now I finally realize why you don't have any major league sports teams to speak of--you suck pretty bad.

UPDATE: CONCACAF Gold Cup field is set

In what was one of the most hideous displays of the beautiful game I've ever seen, the Guatemalan national team was able to come from behind and edge underdogs Nicaragua, 2-1.  It was the Central American Cup fifth-place match, but there was no shortage of inspiration, for it was to squeak into the final Gold Cup spot. And again, the match wasn't very good.  Nicaragua is what you can call a CONCACAF "minnow," there's not a whole lot to be said for international talent there.  Guatemala, who can (when playing their best ball) has shown the likes of the United States some good competition-- but they didn't play like it yesterday.  Wild crosses, poor tactics, and mismatched socks simply made for an unimpressive game (the one exception was a 35-yard volley from Nicaragua's Feliz Rodriguez).  Good news being, obviously, this in many cases is the nature of the difficulty the Yanks will face this summer in the Gold Cup.

As the GC schedule is put together in the coming weeks and we get closer to the tournament proper, I'll be looking at the players and teams to pay attention to--although they are the powerhouses, the Yanks and Mexico aren't the only talented squads in CONCACAF.

The Gold Cup Lineup
North America (qualified automatically):
- USA, Mexico, Canada
Central America:
- Costa Rica, Honduras, Panama, El Salvador, Guatemala
Caribbean:
- Jamaica, Guadeloupe, Cuba, Grenada

UPDATE: USA/ARG at the Meadowlands

The US Soccer Federation announced that the rumored US/Argentina match will in fact be at New Meadowlands Stadium in E. Rutherford, N.J. on March 26.  In addition, they have filled the international date set for three days later: vs. Paraguay, at LP Field in Nashville.

I'm both intrigued and confused by the venue selection for the latter match.  Nashville hosted a WC qualifier last year (the Jozy Altidore hat trick).  The match drew 27,000+, which is solid (I guess) for a southern city without professional soccer (their fourth-division club is horrendous and struggles to draw a couple hundred a game).  However, given all this discussion about contracts between stadiums and the federation, this has to mean that Nashville is doing something right, and something that Seattle refuses to do.

ESPN 3? Really?

Not surprisingly, for the second time in four months, ESPN and the US Soccer Federation fail to get shit done.  Next week's US-Chile friendly, while essentially a B-squad game, will be on ESPN3.com (formerly ESPN360.com) and TeleFutura.  The game is also being pushed from 9pm EST to 10pm, which puts a hitch in my birthday plans, but whatever.  What really grinds my gears is the absense of national television cameras at this match.

Jose Agudelo says: Hope you have decent Wi-Fi!

ESPN3 is easily accessible online, blah blah blah.  It's pretty much a reserves game blah blah blah.  Not the point, in the least bit.  Exposure on national television is one of the greatest weapons that the federation (and the sport in general) has from a marketability standpoint in this country.  Its growth depends on it.  And regardless of the names (or lack thereof) on the squads for this one--on paper, it's a FIFA-sanctioned senior team match, and should be (and will be, by the players and coaches) treated as such.  I don't care who you blame it on, the fact is that ESPN and the USSF dropped the ball on this one.  It'll be more than two months since the last match for the Yanks, and I don't think it's prudent or acceptable to let the team's popularity die down too much in between World Cups.  Just as it's our responsibility as fans to make sure that doesn't happen, it's on the shoulders of the federation and the media, as well.  Make it happen.

US-Argentina

Word on the street is that the March 26 friendly that was originally set to be staged in Seattle will now be moved to New Meadowlands Stadium in E. Rutherford, N.J. (who's down to make the trip?)  Nothing is set in stone yet, and as we've already found out, no venues are set under the auspices of the federation until all dotted lines are signed.  The US-Brazil match last August was held there, and drew 77,000+, a near-sellout.  Stay tuned for confirmation on that one.

FIFA Rankings

The new World Rankings are out, and the Yanks stayed put at #18.  The vast majority of the world didn't budge on the ladder, considering the relative lack of games during this time of year.  Over the next three months, the Asian and Central American Cups will be over, Euro and Africa CON qualifying start back up, as well as a few scattered friendly dates.  Expect more movement by then.  February 2 is the next ranking date.

US National Team Rumblings: Goings-on in Bradleyville

That time of year...

Take a look at the picture to the left.  It's of the annual USMNT January camp.  Every year, head coach Bob Bradley takes a full squad of players (mostly young prospects) to SoCal for a few weeks.  It culminates in an exhibition match against a solid opponent (last year was Sweden, this year it's World Cup participant Chile), and is mostly for evaluations of possible talent for the senior team for the Gold Cup, WC qualifying, etc.  (More pics)

For any true fan, this should give you goosebumps.  National teams only train every so often, especially in the heat of the European season.  This year, hardly different from any other January under the Bradley administration, young (28 combined caps, half the group has never played for the senior team) and exciting talent get a substantial amount of time to play together.  With key exhibitions (Chile, Egypt, and Argentina) coming up and the Gold Cup in less than five months, it's unbearably exciting to watch this go down.  Stay tuned--and keep an eye on individual performances at the Chile match (Jan. 22nd, 9pm ET).

Seattle out of running for match hosting

Although I do admit, no city in the US has shown this kind of passion (yet).

After weeks of being practically assured they were going to host the USA/Argentina friendly in March, Seattle and the record-breaking, raucous crowds at Qwest Field are reportedly completely out of contention, says the Washington Post.  Needless to say, that probably won't go over well in the Pacific Northwest.  One writer is even complaining of issues within the USSF.

I understand the city more than deserves to host such a high-profile match.  Seattle Sounders FC have far and away the highest attendance in MLS, and Qwest Field (which seats almost 40,000 for soccer and up to 67,000 if need be) could easily go standing-room only in a matter of hours for this match.

However, Seattle, you didn't get it.  And don't even think about comparing it to Qatar getting the '22 WC instead of the US.  The USSF doesn't deal in oil.  Just like any other stadium, logistics and contractual situations have to be dealt with, and if they fall through for one game, they fall through.  I highly doubt the USSF backed out because someone else greased their palms more vigorously.  Seattle has not hosted their last US match, and in fact will more than likely be rewarded with a huge match in the future--probably a WC qualifier.  We're all on the same side here.  So relax.  Details for this game, however, are expected to be finalized by next week.

2011 CONCACAF Gold Cup

Hosts Panama (red, defending champs) and Honduras (only Central American nation in the 2010 World Cup) could easily end up in the title game.

Yup, 150 days left until the next statistically meaningful series of games for the Yanks.  It's still a long way off, so you can't blame me for getting excited for the UNCAF Central American Cup starting next week.  All seven Central American nations (can you name them all?) will compete for a title and bragging rights, as well as the final five slots in the Gold Cup.  I'm a dork, I get it, but the rivalries in this region are outstanding, and there are particular match-ups that could prove to entertain even the snobbiest of Eurosnobs.

2014 World Cup Qualifying

If you're thinking I'm too obsessed and thinking too far ahead--shut up, this is relevant.

One of the planet's best international soccer rivalries has been completely ignored and spit upon not only by CONCACAF, but FIFA as well.

Oguchi Onyewu's "staredown" in 2002 is one of the most memorable moments in this rivalry's history.

The best parts about the USA-Mexico rivalry are the WC qualifying matches--inevitable in the past given the format of the final round (top 6 teams in a single group).  CONCACAF has ratified (and FIFA recently approved) a new WC qualifying format, in which the final round will consist of two separate groups of four teams.  Meaning (if you've ever seen the way the World Cup Draw works, you understand), in the spirit of fair and even distribution of competition, the US and Mexico will definitely not be drawn together in that final round.  Arguably the New World's greatest international rivalry will not happen under the revenue-devouring flag of WC qualifying.

The new format was adopted to give the minnows of the confederation more meaningful and competitive games, whereas the previous format meant certain and sudden death for the likes of the US Virgin Islands and Anguilla.  In this regard, I like the new format, for the sake of CONCACAF's growth.

However, this hurts the US in two main ways.

First, in revenue, popularity, and exposure.  No matter where the game is, USA-Mexico sells out and then some, on account of the Mexican fan base and the heated rivalry itself.  Popularity of the rivalry = exposure of the US national team = growth of the sport on a domestic level.  Simple shit.

Secondly, fewer matches per qualifying round means more difficulty getting through.  Especially in the final round, where the US would have a mere six games (as opposed to ten in the past) to qualify for the Cup.  This could be awesome or disastrous, depending on the Yanks' performances in these games.  We shall see, I guess.  And for those of you weirdos who don't have the widget on your computers, there are 1,253 days left until the opening kick off at Brazil 2014.  Consider yourself informed.

Review: How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization

Call me a lousy "educator," but I don't read many books.  And really, it's simply because I can rarely find the time to sit down and read an actual book of certain length.  I made an exception for this book--I simply replaced the time I spend daydreaming about Stuart Holden's rise to EPL stardom with some time spent reading How Soccer Explains the World, by Franklin Foer.

The book was finished in 2004, but it does a phenomenal job of avoiding an otherwise inevitable dating of itself.  Foer smartly proves that soccer is more than a game--it is a culture, a lifestyle, a necessity--but also a medium for the exploitation of (and recovery from) war, a religious experience, and an unavoidable force in a rapidly-globalizing world.

The book begins with a chapter explaining, more or less, how nationalist soccer gangs in Belgrade, Serbia influenced the Balkan Wars by taking advantage of the need for paramilitary groups and using their political influence to accomplish independence from Yugoslavia.

The Celtic-Rangers rivalry transcends
a mere sporting hatred.

The following chapter zeroes in on the Celtic-Rangers rivalry in Glasgow, Scotland (and elsewhere in the British Isles, as well).  The "Old Firm" rivalry, while outwardly a result of geographic proximity, is explained in this book as a battleground for the unfinished business of the Protestant Reformation.  It's mind-bogglingly sensible.

Other chapters include stories on the Jewish identity (through clubs such as Tottenham, Ajax, and actual Jewish clubs in Europe), economic exploitation among elites in Brazil and Italy, the African movement of soccer talent in the Ukraine, Islam's affect on the game in post-revolution Iran, the "discreet charm" of Catalonian nationalism of Barcelona fans as it relates to other nationalist movements worldwide, etc.

The final chapter briefly talks about the almighty American soccer debate, relating it to American culture wars and pro- and anti-European sentiments.  This is the only chapter where the book's age becomes a remote issue--it obviously cannot include the exponential growth of the sport in the public eye since the book's publishing.

The book is incredible for soccer fans of all levels, as well as those who would appreciate the obvious geopolitical essays it contains.  If you identify with any of the cultures listed above, you need to read it.  Shit, if you've ever been to church or a place of religious worship of any kind, you need to read it.  Franklin Foer shows us not only why fans like us need the game, but also why those who resent the game can't avoid it.

NEXT: How the newly-approved World Cup qualifying format hurts the US in more ways than one.