USA 1-1 Chile

Can't say I have any idea what happened here.

I'll be honest.  I didn't see a second of the game last night.

I went out last night to downtown Hartford for my birthday with a bottle of Jim Beam and 20 of my closest friends, with every intention to stumble into a soccer-friendly pub by 10pm.

Already wasted, I got lost after I got separated from the people I was following by a red light.  We finally were able to convene at Asylum Cafe, which was more or less an excuse to get warm.  That place is the lamest establishment in southern New England.  Not an ounce of personality in anyone there, we felt rather uncomfortable being there.

We then moved onto Vaughan's Public House.  I now know why the American Outlaws no longer affiliate with them.  I asked the bartender to put the game on, and he looked at me like I had a surface tumor.  It took him 15 minutes to even try to change the channel, only to find they didn't have Telefutura.  Lame.

Irritated and absolutely shitfaced, I crawled into City Steam Brewery Cafe, which seemed to be a sweet place for beer and live music.  I asked them if they could turn one of the TVs to the game (probably well into the second half by then), and the host plainly said no.  I'm not sure why I didn't clock him given my current state, but I turned to my friends, all of whom were looking at me like "make a decision, dickbag".  I don't blame them; I could barely speak, and the night was poorly planned to begin with.

So we stayed, drank, and were entertained by a typical cover band.  Thanks to my buds that came out, and for the song dedication.  I love you all.

I blacked out on the ride home, was carried into my house where I subsequently vomited and passed out in my living room.  A special thanks is in order to my girlfriend, Valerie Anne, who is half my size and was tasked with holding my body up so I wouldn't fall face-first in the toilet.  Thank you dear, I owe you one.

I watched the highlights this morning, still drunk.  A legit recap of the game would be senseless.

I'm staying home for the Egypt game next month, and heading to Jersey for the Argentina game.  Hartford, you kinda let me down last night.  Now I finally realize why you don't have any major league sports teams to speak of--you suck pretty bad.