USA 0-1 Paraguay; Ochocinco a make-believe soccer player

Tough loss for the boys in red (although it's kind of a smelly red).  Oscar Cardozo's 18th-minute tap off a corner kick inside the box was all Los Guaranies needed for the road victory in rain-soaked Nashville.  It was an easy goal, too, with two US defenders on the wet ground after losing their footing.

Juan Agudelo, mirroring how much
of us felt last night.

Wasn't the most exciting game I've ever seen.  Although the Yanks dominated possession for the final 70 minutes of the match, they had trouble stringing together enough passes to get to within 30 yards of goal.  The game was clearly more of an experiment for Coach Bradley, who used a bunch of subs from start to finish.  The lack of experience (on the international stage, and with each other) showed for much of the match.

Goalies Marcus Hahnemann and David Yelldell (US debut) got 45 minutes each.  They weren't really tested often, but held it together nicely.

Although they struggled a bit in the first half again, the defense wasn't nearly as disastrous as the Argentina match Saturday.  Timothy Chandler once again showed athleticism and pace, with constant runs up the wings and solid crosses.  Jonathan Bornstein, who played at left back, played similarly but didn't look as comfortable on defense.  Jay DeMerit strained a groin right before the half, and was replaced by Carlos Bocanegra.  Both of them had decent games and showed presence on set pieces.  Tim Ream, for as big of a deal as people are making him out to be, looked like he never played soccer before.  He looked extremely uncomfortable, with bad first touches and ugly passes (both being sub-themes of the day for the US).

Landon Donovan

Michael Bradley, Clint Dempsey, Landon Donovan (captain for the night, even after Bocanegra came in), and Juan Agudelo all had nice efforts, although the lack of decent ball control (I'll only blame it partially on the rain) across the board prevented serious offensive threats.  Agudelo did, however, show a few flashes of this dribbling brilliance of which people speak.  Jozy Altidore was MIA for much of the game, although that was in part due to the pressure put on him all game long when he got even close to the box.  Both him and Agudelo were double-teamed much of the match.  Maurice Edu had trouble moving the ball in what at times seemed like a clogged center of the field (what else is new).  He was replaced at halftime by Jermaine Jones, who for the second time in four days, was absolutely fucking putrid.  Guy was a walking turnover.

Sasha Kljestan, Jonathan Spector, and Eric Lichaj (who had some great throw-ins toward net that could translate into goals on better days) also saw time.  Mixx Diskerud was the only unused sub, which if you ask me is a fucking travesty, considering his play against South Africa in November and Jermaine Jones' lackluster performance on Saturday.

Along the vein of experiments, I hope to see a 30-some-man camp before the Gold Cup, and get some more young guys in against Spain before the tournament.  As much as poor passing and ball care hurt us throughout the night, we can safely attribute much of this loss on how many subs were in by the end of the night.  Jose Agudelo, with his lack of experience, counts as a sub for purposes of my point.  I find it frustrating that we couldn't get a goal, but with 2 months to go before the Gold Cup, I think it's imperative to see more of these guys moving forward.  They need to play together as often as possible.  Also, I wish we could squeeze in another friendly between now and June, but it seems that the lack of international dates (and time in general) will prevent the federation from doing so.

Ochocinco


"Honorary member."  That's what Sporting Kansas City is calling Chad Ochocinco, who proved his lack of worth after six days of training and a reserve match against the fourth-division Kansas City Brass.  They're letting him stick around to train with the reserves and stay in shape until the NFL and its players kiss and make up.

By MLS definition, he's still a trialist.  Meaning, he doesn't get paid, and can play in up to two MLS Reserve Division matches this season.  SKC's reserve team also plays the Brass a bunch of times throughout the year.

What has Sporting learned about #85?  He's an athlete, clearly--but lacks the top-flight soccer skills and fitness necessary to even come close to making the team.

I still think this is a joke--KC are throwing themselves under a skeptical media bus by letting a guy with a household name wear their colors, when he has no merit otherwise.  I went to high school with kids that could probably out-play him, yet would never be given the time of day by the organization.  They said that this wasn't a PR stunt, but I hate to tell you, it has become just that.  You all look like morons.

USA 1-1 Argentina

Phenomenal result for the Yanks, given the complete domination by the Argentines in the first half.

Esteban Cambiasso's goal right before halftime summed up a miserable American midfield experience, as well as athletic superiority for the Albiceleste attack.
The second half, however, showed us what the US can do when on the ropes: play physical but patient soccer.  Juan Agudelo (again) was able to tap one home in the 59th minute off a free kick rebound, solidifying the encouraging draw.
The result was not the only encouraging aspect of last night's match.  Both halftime substitutions (Agudelo and right back Timothy Chandler) made Bob Bradley look like a genius.  Agudelo, while his goal seemed like it was of the right-place-at-the-right-time variety, was able to show some athleticism and good instincts when left with a well-deserved rebound off an outstanding free kick by Landon Donovan and a great header by Captain Bocanegra.  It was his second goal in three games with the national team.  Now, let us watch the media drool over the 18-year-old for a few weeks and Freddy Adu-ize the shit out of him.

Juan Agudelo

Chandler made it very clear that he wanted to be part of the offense, frequently running up the right sideline like it belonged to him.  His 45 minutes of play on both sides of the ball was enough to earn him praises.
I'm slightly miffed by the choice to put Jozy Altidore as the lone striker in the first half, an experiment that obviously did not work particularly well.  Donovan and Clint Dempsey had trouble finding options on the run, and we all know Jozy is not at that caliber (yet).
And while I'm second-guessing the lineup selection, is it bold or unrealistic to say that it's about time Michael Bradley and Mo Edu (and Jermaine Jones) learn how to play in the midfield together?  I understand the idea that these identical players who prefer to roam in the dead center of the pitch is causing a logjam at the position, so I think it's time for them to figure it out.  It's blowing way too many offensive opportunities.
My man of the match is obviously Tim Howard.  For the gazillionth time, he bailed out his fellow countrymen on numerous occasions with terrific saves, and is the most deserving of the honor.  The score could easily have been 3-1 or 4-1.  Another great showing by #1.
Had a great time at the match.  Boozed it all the way to the stadium, met some really cool people tailgating, and I think I hugged a stranger after the Agudelo goal.  As ugly as it might be from the outside, a sold out New Meadowlands Stadium is an incomparable experience.




***Just announced: USA-Spain at Gillette Stadium, June 4.  I'm a tad surprised that such a high-profile friendly would be scheduled three days before our Gold Cup opener, but I'm assuming this means that the starting lineup won't be playing the whole match.  Great warm-up match for the Yanks, though, and a phenomenal one for New England.

Dealing with the Bad Eggs

While the NFL threatens to scratch and claw at the integrity of gridiron football with mindless rule changes to prevent horrific injuries because they're too scared to make the safest available equipment compulsory (wait, isn't there a lockout?), what is being done in soccer worldwide to prevent dangerous plays?

A straight red card and suspension?  Sure, that's the typical punishment for leaving your feet with the spikes up and maliciously attacking another human being.  But does that deter miserable hacks like Manchester United's Johnny Evans from doing that?  No.  Just like a $50,000 fine won't prevent James Harrison from going helmet-to-helmet with someone and getting all dramatic about it the next day.

Until Sepp Blatter or Roger Goodell puts their players in those inflatable sumo suits, injuries will happen as long as idiots like Trevor Gillies continue to do what they do.  But there's no reason to punish an entire league when the problem on our hands should be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, and the powers that be need to figure out a more efficient way of doing so.  I understand that 2010 was the year of the headbutt for the NFL, but that doesn't mean the league (especially when it's barely operational) needs to eliminate all excitement from kickoffs (I can't imagine what it's like to be Devin Hester right now).  That'd be like removing the spikes from soccer cleats, or preventing them from EVER leaving their feet.  Luckily for soccer, the rules are simpler than those of football, so such drastic changes will never happen.

A better comparison might be that of taking those fun wooden blocks from kindergarteners so they don't hit each other with them.  Just because 2% of the class uses them as weapons, that doesn't mean you should take the blocks away from Josh Cribbs, Nicklas Lidstrom or Maicon.

Suspend these neanderthals.  Fine them.  Kick them out.  Eat their children.  But changing the complexion of the game is not prudent.  These athletes have minds of their own.  It is insulting and unfair to the rest of the respective sports to inflict this preemptive nonsense.  The game of football (or soccer, or hockey) isn't broke, so don't fix it.

Chad Ochocinco to try out for Kansas City (the soccer team). Seriously.

I'm not kidding.  Chad "I'm pissed because Charlie Sheen is actually loved by the public, what am I doing wrong?" Ochocinco-Johnson has been invited by Sporting Kansas City (the name still sucks) to a four-day tryout.

I'd be less annoyed with this if we didn't already have David Beckham pretending to be solid contributor to the league.  But now we have two douchebags that are good for nothing but being relentlessly cursed at by every paying soccer fan in America.  I almost hope he makes the team, so Jay DeMerit can take him out at the ankles (and that, ladies and gents, is the only time you'll see me support a Canadian team) and end all his careers at once (including reality TV, being liked by nobody, etc).

Dumb (left), with Dumber, at what is most likely a media circle jerk.

US/Mexico rivalry lives on; MLS season kicks off

After CONCACAF jumped the gun and assumed their mediocrity was enough to earn them an additional spot in the World Cup, Chuck Blazer and company had to return to the drawing board in the past week and redesign the World Cup qualifying system AGAIN.

The initial alteration involved breaking up the final round into two groups, all but guaranteeing a separation of the US and Mexico--the two North American superpowers and arguably the biggest rivalry this side of the Atlantic.  This system was created under the assumption that the top two teams in each group would advance to the big stage.

When it was announced that CONCACAF would be limited to their previous 3.5 spots (the "half" team goes through a playoff series with a team from another continent for the actual World Cup qualification), the confederation acknowledged that another change was imminent.  The new format would require the second place teams in both groups into a playoff, with the loser playing the intercontinental matches.  Lame.

CONCACAF claims that there weren't enough FIFA international dates (reserved dates on the calendar when leagues shut down for international play) for these extra matches.  If that's actually the reason, then that's fine, I don't care.  I'd also be willing to bet that they heard voices in their sleep telling them that breaking up the US/Mexico match-ups was a laughable mistake, and that returning to the beloved "hexagonal" final round (one group, six teams) was the only path to saving the slightest bit of face.  This virtually assures the Yanks and El Tri playing each other twice in the final round of qualifying.

Pending an official announcement and FIFA approval, both of which are mere formalities, here's what the system should look like:

35 teams in CONCACAF
1st Round: Teams 26-35 play home-and-home
2nd Round: 5 1st rd. winners join Teams 7-25 in 6 groups of 4.
3rd Round: 6 2nd rd. group winners join Teams 1-6 in 3 groups of 4.
4th Round: Top 2 teams in each 3rd rd. group play in 1 group

Note that this will put the USA automatically through to the third round, and reduces the number of qualifying matches from 18 (the initial change) to 16.  They played 18 matches during the 2010 campaign, under a different format.

2011 MLS Season


Last night's game in Seattle was a good one, with the LA Galaxy defeating Seattle Sounders FC, 1-0.  Juninho found the back of the net in the 2nd half with a beautiful liner inside the near post from 20 yards.  The rest of the league's opening slate will be played this weekend.

Also, Real Salt Lake continued their inspired Champions League run last night, defeating CD Saprissa of Costa Rica at home, 2-0 (attendance 17,000!).  They'll play the 2nd leg of the semifinals in two weeks in Costa Rica, where "The Monster's Cave" provides Saprissa with arguably the best home-field advantage in Central America.

GOLD CUP: Group C Preview, Predictions

As promised, here's a more serious look at the US national team's (down a peg to #19 in this month's world rankings) group stage opponents in the CONCACAF Gold Cup in June.

Canada - June 7 (Ford Field, Detroit)

Of all three US opponents, the Canadians definitely have the biggest chip on their shoulders, which may prove to make them the toughest to beat.  Since their 2000 Gold Cup title, the last 10+ years have been plagued with mediocrity for manager Stephen Hart and company.  Their lack of success has been highlighted of late by some miserable World Cup qualifying campaigns.

Les Rouges, ranked 8th in CONCACAF and 84th in the world, are led by Toronto FC leading scorer and leading bitcher-and-moaner Dwayne DeRosario.  "DeRo" has 15 international goals and 55 caps to his credit, but has had quite the offseason--making headlines for complaining about pay and leaving for Scotland to train without permission.  He will likely be joined in the starting midfield by Atiba Hutchinson and Real Salt Lake's Will Johnson.  However, the midfield is about all the Canadians have going for them, with no proven goal-scorers at the striker position.  They are led on defense by captain Paul Stalteri and goalie Lars Hirschfeld, but severely lack the depth (at all positions) to get anywhere near a Gold Cup title this year.

(You could possibly argue that having a few clubs in MLS will help the development of the national team.  But without a solid grassroots developmental system that builds strong, technical players from the start, Canada will continue to flounder in the tiers of CONCACAF nothingness.  And the way things are run at the Canada Soccer Association, I don't see that happening anytime soon.)

Panama - June 11 (Raymond James Stadium, Tampa)

Ranked 7th in CONCACAF and 68th in the world, Panama is most definitely one of the most overrated squads in the region.  I watched them play a few games in the recent Copa CentroAmericana, and even with home field advantage, they failed to impress me.

La Marea Roja are led by Blas Perez, Roberto Brown, and 2005 Gold Cup MVP Luis Tejada up top, and captain Felipe Baloy on defense.  The team's biggest asset in this tournament certainly will be their speed, which could cause the Yanks some trouble (a la Costa Rica in the final round of World Cup qualifying).  Although Perez, Brown, and Tejada combine for 142 caps and 54 goals on the international stage, they lacked solid finishing in the late stages of the CCA, when it counted most.  Also, does anyone remember the 2005 Gold Cup final?  I wish I could find a video of Tejada's PK miss that helped the US take the title.

If the Yanks can stay organized on defense and don't let any quick counterattacks slip by them, this could be a walkover.


Guadaloupe - June 14 (LIVESTRONG Sporting Park, Kansas City)

This one is the hardest to call, seeing as I've never once seen them play.  They aren't even affiliated with FIFA and therefore don't participate in WC qualifying or anything (as a French overseas department, Guadeloupe is kind of a Hawaii equivalent).

Les Gwada Boys are captained by Stephane Auvray, who plays professionally for Sporting KC at this very same stadium (I DARE you to tell me CONCACAF didn't do that on purpose).  During the 2010 MLS season, his first for the Wiz, he appeared in 21 games and did not score.

The Elo Ratings, an independent alternative ranking system that includes non-FIFA nations, have Guadeloupe at 86th in the world (out of 232; the system has Canada at 59th and Panama at 63rd--I don't care, take it all at face value, I guess).  They had an unbelievably impressive run, however, at the 2010 Caribbean Cup, where five wins, a loss and a draw over two group stages took them to the final, where they lost to Caribbean powerhouse Jamaica in penalties.  So, this no-name country of no-name players could actually give their opponents some headaches.  They did reach the Gold Cup semis in 2007.  But who the hell really knows?  I would love someone to enlighten me on this one.

Predictions (maybe I'll have the balls to do full tournament predictions when we get closer to this summer's festivities)

USA def. Canada, 3-0
USA def. Panama, 2-1
USA def. Guadeloupe, because people will die if they don't.

GOLD CUP: USA gets Group C, match-up with Canada

Without the slightest ounce of transparency, or the most minuscule hint of caring that people are onto them, the CONCACAF Gold Cup match-ups were announced.

The Stars and Stripes last won the Gold Cup in 2007.

Mexico gets to play in Dallas, Canada gets to play in Detroit, and the two Floridian venues will see a total of six different Central American and Caribbean teams.  Go figure.  Luckily, the tournament still seems to be arranged with a USA-Mexico final in mind.  That's corruption I can deal with.

The Yanks, who will feature their full-strength senior squad, "drew" Canada in Detroit, Panama in Tampa, and Guadeloupe in Kansas City, in Group C.  The quarterfinals will likely be in DC, with the semis and final in Houston and Pasadena, respectively.

In 2009, the last edition of the Gold Cup, a young American squad (Bradley rested the senior team after the Confederations Cup run) reached the final where they were embarrassed by Mexico 5-0 at Giants Stadium.

I know everyone at BigSoccer, namely Bill Archer, is going to have a field day with the Canada match-up.  Although I must admit, I want to throw my laptop across the room every time I see some dumb-fuck Canadian on a message board talk about soccer like they have something to brag about up there.  Get your own league.

I'll be back tomorrow with a look at the three group stage opponents, the US' chances at the tournament, as well as the new FIFA world rankings.

Group A: Mexico, El Salvador, Costa Rica, Cuba
Group B: Honduras, Guatemala, Grenada, Jamaica
Group C: United States, Canada, Panama, Guadeloupe


***For the tournament schedule, click here.***

Champions League match draws significant crowd

No, not that Champions League.

If you're one of those "I refuse to watch the MLS and I play FIFA online with Real Madrid because Cristiano Ronaldo is the face of masculinity"-type people, just click the back button on your browser.  Not only will you probably scoff at the following, but I don't even want you here.  This is for Americans who care.  So keep it moving, please.

RSL celebrates after Andy Williams' (far left)
free kick made it 4-1.

Last night, soccer in America took a pretty significant step in the right direction.  In early March, in 30-some-degree weather, on a Tuesday, Real Salt Lake convinced 15,405 people to come see a game nearly a month before their regular season home opener.  In the second leg of the CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinals, RSL defeated the Columbus Crew in dominating fashion, 4-1.  After a scoreless draw in the first leg, Salt Lake now advances to the semis, becoming the first-ever MLS club to do so.

Like the US Open Cup, the Champions League is a tournament, separate from Major League Soccer proper, that teams have taken more seriously in recent years, but have more or less failed to captivate mainstream fans.  The media is catching on, and the diehard supporters can tell you everything about these tournaments, but drawing the average fan to the stadium for these matches has been a struggle.

Columbus Crew has been one of the faces of MLS since its inception.  The first to compete in their own soccer-specific stadium, Columbus has a rabid and loyal fan base that has been an example for the growth of domestic club support.  With that said, it's rather surprising that last week's first leg was played in front of less than 5,000 fans, mostly Nordecke supporters and season-ticket holders.

RSL stressed that their ticket sales department phone-blasted as many people as possible, taking time to explain to even the most casual of fans that this tournament was important, the franchise was making it a priority, and that it's worth the time spent in the cold to come support Real.  Even GM Garth Lagerwey visited a Salt Lake radio station to sell the match.  The team took care to compare it with the UEFA Champions League to help people understand.  The end result?  Filling up more than 3/4 of the stadium and making this tournament relevant.

One would hope word of mouth could trigger a sellout for the semis, to be played against either Saprissa (Costa Rica) or Olimpia (Honduras).  And I'm not so naive to think this tournament will sellout across the country this year.  I don't think it will.  Just like anything American soccer has ever dealt with, publicity and time are the keys to success.  Both are among the main reasons behind the recent World Cup fever (along with the success on the field, obviously).

Stepping stones, people!  Stepping stones!  I said at the very beginning of this blog that it's an exciting time to be an American soccer fan right now.  That statement is no less true than it was five months ago. It's easy to get discouraged, with all the talk of corruption at FIFA an the like.  Thirty years ago, soccer in the States didn't even have a chance to experience these stepping stones.  I know we're not the best.  But I find it so difficult--when you have club teams selling out stadiums, and stars like Landon Donovan scoring game-winners on an international stage--not to want to jump right into the middle of it all, and soak up the prospect of what is currently a niche sport becoming something much more substantial.  And until that happens, I still love the sport, and love to be able identify with it on a national basis.